Cheerios- translation is NOT "good day."

As I arrived home yesterday, I first went to the pantry to find something to eat. Unfortunately I already knew that there wouldn’t be anything good inside. I of course continued to rummage thru the health cereal, taco seasoning packets, plain noodles, and other seemingly missed placed items of food that were present in the pantry. I wondered to myself, “what are these nasty foods doing in a mans pantry?” I proceeded to look thru until I was no longer hungry. But alas, I was back to the source of my life in 5 minutes. I reopened the pantry, there it was in front of me, a big yellow box. Could it be? It was! Sitting in front of me was a big box of the most famous cereal, Cheerios. I was thrilled. My face lit up as I wrestled them out of the pantry. I opened a cupboard and pulled out one of our biggest bowls, I proceeded to fill it to the brim, after the bowl was full, I shoved the box back into the pantry. I then thought to myself, “what if we are out of milk?” This is a common fear, you find yourself with a large bowl of dry cereal, you open the fridge only to be astonished that someone has finished off the milk. Common results of opening the fridge and seeing the absence of milk for your cereal are; immediate death, loss of jaw, instant development turrets, loss of blood pressure and regain of lost cholesterol. But fortunately for me, there was milk of plenty. I sat down and ate my Cheerios recollecting the good things of my day. The day of week popped into my mind, Wednesday. This is not a good day of the week for me. One word, Mutual.
Mutual may be a good socializing event for most, however I find myself hating to talk to people, if I really wanted to talk to you, I would come to and talk to you. Now this is not the case for everyone, just the majority of the people in my ward. Now lets say, theoretically, you are 17 years old and live in the Alpine/Highland area. If you and your mom are yet to receive your Eagle scout award you may as well were a shirt that says, “Tell me to get my eagle, I don’t hear it enough”. Seriously, if you plan to be well associated with people in my area there are some essentials.
1. This is just for male occupants, your Eagle Scout Award.
This is often seen as a display of your character. Don’t get me wrong, I think receiving this award can and should prove that you are a dedicated individual. However, what the spectator doesn’t see is the “eagle scout” being woken up at 6:30 am on a cool October morning to the sound of theirs mothers voice yelling down the hallway, “WAKE UP SON, YOU ARE GOING TO BE LATE TO POW- WOW!!!” To the new boy scout, this may be a sign to get up and going, however, to the well trained matured scout, this is a sign to get out of bed, lock your door, turn off your lights, get back under the warm covers and bury your head under many pillows so your mothers heckling doesn’t awake you again.

Unfortunately this tactic only works for so long. The ever-wise parent soon realizes that they have control of your life. With all privileges on the line your bed doesn’t seem to be as comforting. Rolling out of bed, you still have one thing to look forward to, the warm shower, you walk into the bathroom and turn it on to full heat. This comforting sound only lasts a bit as it is overcome by the voice of your mother, “What are you doing?!!?!” she asks with a impatient tone. “Showering!!!” the scout replies. “You don’t have time!!!” Angered the scout shuts off the shower and staggers up the stairs. Later, as the scout is on the drive down to pow-wow, the scout fully awakens only to realize the clothes their mother gave them are indeed the full scout uniform. There are three options here.

i. Un-tuck the scout uniform in hopes to show other scouts you are  “rebellious”.
ii. Search frantically the entire car for a sweatshirt to cover the embarrassing  award of tenderfoot.
iii. (This is the most recommended way to avoid pow-wow but must be done  quickly.) Reach for the door handle, praying that it is not on child-lock, (a  well exposed mother should have child-lock already on for pre-assumption  of this event) and leap out of the car.

         

Please don't end up like this, just jump out of the car, it will be worth it. (Refer to above)

2. To avoid more writing, just don’t associate with people in my ward.

In conclusion, don’t eat Cheerios, all they do is make you think of things you don’t want to, like pow-wows, people telling you what to do. Although, they may lead you to write a blog post and waste time rather than doing homework and other productive activities*.

*May help lower cholesterol, and improve desire to feed a baby.