Cheerios- translation is NOT "good day."

As I arrived home yesterday, I first went to the pantry to find something to eat. Unfortunately I already knew that there wouldn’t be anything good inside. I of course continued to rummage thru the health cereal, taco seasoning packets, plain noodles, and other seemingly missed placed items of food that were present in the pantry. I wondered to myself, “what are these nasty foods doing in a mans pantry?” I proceeded to look thru until I was no longer hungry. But alas, I was back to the source of my life in 5 minutes. I reopened the pantry, there it was in front of me, a big yellow box. Could it be? It was! Sitting in front of me was a big box of the most famous cereal, Cheerios. I was thrilled. My face lit up as I wrestled them out of the pantry. I opened a cupboard and pulled out one of our biggest bowls, I proceeded to fill it to the brim, after the bowl was full, I shoved the box back into the pantry. I then thought to myself, “what if we are out of milk?” This is a common fear, you find yourself with a large bowl of dry cereal, you open the fridge only to be astonished that someone has finished off the milk. Common results of opening the fridge and seeing the absence of milk for your cereal are; immediate death, loss of jaw, instant development turrets, loss of blood pressure and regain of lost cholesterol. But fortunately for me, there was milk of plenty. I sat down and ate my Cheerios recollecting the good things of my day. The day of week popped into my mind, Wednesday. This is not a good day of the week for me. One word, Mutual.
Mutual may be a good socializing event for most, however I find myself hating to talk to people, if I really wanted to talk to you, I would come to and talk to you. Now this is not the case for everyone, just the majority of the people in my ward. Now lets say, theoretically, you are 17 years old and live in the Alpine/Highland area. If you and your mom are yet to receive your Eagle scout award you may as well were a shirt that says, “Tell me to get my eagle, I don’t hear it enough”. Seriously, if you plan to be well associated with people in my area there are some essentials.
1. This is just for male occupants, your Eagle Scout Award.
This is often seen as a display of your character. Don’t get me wrong, I think receiving this award can and should prove that you are a dedicated individual. However, what the spectator doesn’t see is the “eagle scout” being woken up at 6:30 am on a cool October morning to the sound of theirs mothers voice yelling down the hallway, “WAKE UP SON, YOU ARE GOING TO BE LATE TO POW- WOW!!!” To the new boy scout, this may be a sign to get up and going, however, to the well trained matured scout, this is a sign to get out of bed, lock your door, turn off your lights, get back under the warm covers and bury your head under many pillows so your mothers heckling doesn’t awake you again.

Unfortunately this tactic only works for so long. The ever-wise parent soon realizes that they have control of your life. With all privileges on the line your bed doesn’t seem to be as comforting. Rolling out of bed, you still have one thing to look forward to, the warm shower, you walk into the bathroom and turn it on to full heat. This comforting sound only lasts a bit as it is overcome by the voice of your mother, “What are you doing?!!?!” she asks with a impatient tone. “Showering!!!” the scout replies. “You don’t have time!!!” Angered the scout shuts off the shower and staggers up the stairs. Later, as the scout is on the drive down to pow-wow, the scout fully awakens only to realize the clothes their mother gave them are indeed the full scout uniform. There are three options here.

i. Un-tuck the scout uniform in hopes to show other scouts you are  “rebellious”.
ii. Search frantically the entire car for a sweatshirt to cover the embarrassing  award of tenderfoot.
iii. (This is the most recommended way to avoid pow-wow but must be done  quickly.) Reach for the door handle, praying that it is not on child-lock, (a  well exposed mother should have child-lock already on for pre-assumption  of this event) and leap out of the car.

         

Please don't end up like this, just jump out of the car, it will be worth it. (Refer to above)

2. To avoid more writing, just don’t associate with people in my ward.

In conclusion, don’t eat Cheerios, all they do is make you think of things you don’t want to, like pow-wows, people telling you what to do. Although, they may lead you to write a blog post and waste time rather than doing homework and other productive activities*.

*May help lower cholesterol, and improve desire to feed a baby.

P.D.A.

Please, I ask all of you not to judge me on my first post.  Now that my protection for you trying to mock me for not being funny is there I can write about whatever I please.  I choose the topic of P.D.A. Short for Public Display of Affection. (or Public Demoralizing Actions)

I personally have never encountered such and event.  I count my many blessings that is number one count my many blessings I see what God has done. (that line works if you sing it to part of the song as well.)  However, from the stories circulating around Lone Peak about the 700 hall, I am surprised that there aren't more pregnant women at Lone Peak (that last statement was an exaggeration, Lone Peak is not Pleasant Grove High).  I choose not to walk down the 700 hall because I prefer to be chased (play on words) until I am caught by someone who doesn't have black everything, including all but not restricted to; hair, eye make-up (regardless of gender), fingernails (also regardless of gender), shirt, which usually includes some skulls and devil signs all over them, pants with 100 tons of chains clanking on the floor, pants which usually hang somewhere between the bottom of the butt and the ankles, 10 year old skater shoes, socks, and if they are real emo's they have black gloves with the tip of the fingers cut off so you can see the "Hot Topic" brand fingernail polish.

The sad thing is these people move on out of high school, you think that they would go somewhere like Utah University, or SUU, however, from word of mouth they somehow weasel their way into Gods chosen school. BYU.  I don't know how they (PDA-ers in general) get in because you must go through a series very rigorous ecclesiastical interviews.  Unless they lie to get into Gods chosen school, which is massive amounts of irony.  

Now once these PDA-ers are down at Gods chosen school they don't really try to hide the fact that they just love to make-out with anything that walks.  For a hypothetical example, say it is the day to move your stuff into on campus housing.  You open your door excited to see the 40 year old cinderblock walls with nothing interesting in the entire shed, I mean apartment,  instead the first thing you see is a large blob underneath a blanket just blobbing about.  You wonder to yourself, "what on earth could that possibly be?" Unfortunately, the second that thought has passed through your mind the blanket is off. Unfortunately it is not a person cut in half, or a bunnyrabbit jumping out of a top hat, instead it is to people who seem to be wrestling.  But again unfortunately they are opposite gender (maybe fortunately, depends on how you look at it).  You are disgusted but have no other option but to endure the next year of the freshman year down at Gods chosen school.  Perhaps that is what God meant when he said Endure to the end.

Another example of Gods chosen PDA-ers.  This one comes from the worlds best history teacher.  This teacher, we will give him a code name of Scott, is walking down the sidewalk at BYU, in the distance he sees a "blob".  His curiosity gets him and he walks closer.  The blob is two people doing something similar to this picture.

(inappropriate I know, but imagine not expecting it!)

He then proceeded to tell the class how it was like when children to the swing, two kids on one swing.  "The Spider" as he calls it.  He then ended the story telling us that it was one of the students siblings. 

In conclusion, if you read this and you are a PDA-er, I hope I have changed your life for the better.  And if you find out that you are going out with a "spider-man" make sure you smash him with a giant sized newspaper.